Dr. Jonas Zizlesse has pioneered the newest and best advance in cosmetic surgery since the introduction of the nose. He calls it Nipple Addition Surgery.
About six years ago, Dr. Zizlesse made an astounding discovery while researching female breast reconstruction:
FAT IS ONLY UGLY UNTIL YOU PUT A NIPPLE ON IT!
Wednesday, May 21st 2003 (2:59am)
LOS ANGELES -- Chesty swimsuit models and Hollywood starlets are running scared -- because of a new disease that whittles large breasts down into teensy nubs not much bigger than mosquito bites!
Wednesday, Jan 8th 2003 (2:30pm)
Are you tired of hearing about different dieting theories from your friends, family and co-workers? Are you sick of getting spammed by lose-weight-fast programs? Then this is the diet for you! Introducing the Drop Dead Diet: the only sure-fire, guaranteed way to lose those excess pounds, forever!
Saturday, Nov 16th 2002 (12:30am)
Officials at the Food and Drug Administration announced early Tuesday that they have recently approved the computer game EverQuest as a viable form of contraception. Sony later revealed plans to donate computers and copies of the game to members of the white trash segment of America.
Thursday, Oct 17th 2002 (8:14am)
Guitar face is a horribly disfiguring condition affecting tens of thousands of guitar players around the world. Blues players, particularly electric blues players, seem to suffer the most horrendous effects.
Wednesday, Oct 16th 2002 (12:07am)
Covering a wart with a piece of duct tape may be as effective in getting rid of it as liquid-nitrogen freezing, according to an article in the October issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.
Tuesday, Oct 15th 2002 (12:16am)
Some exciting news from the world of medicine - it's looking like we'll soon be able to cure Parkinson's and Alzheimer's using lentivirus therapy, delivered by a most unlikely ally: the HIV vector.
Monday, Oct 14th 2002 (12:44am)
Tomorrow at an international conference in South Africa, a scientist from Melbourne will unveil how something simple, very cheap, and home-grown could prevent pregnancy and help halt the spread of AIDS. It's the humble lemon.
Friday, Oct 11th 2002 (12:16am)
Well, this guy, who claims that Christoper Reeve is a selfish bastard. I figure now that California has resumed stem-cell research, someone's gonna be due for a Kryptonian beating once Reeve has regrown his spine.
Wednesday, Sep 25th 2002 (12:54am)
Cape Fear (1962)
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