Apart from the fact that it's just fucking gross, having that slab of steel in your tongue also attracts lightning.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 11th 2003 (12:12am)
...for COMPLETE FUCKWADS. Click away you hungry buttplug.
By: Hellvis
Monday, May 12th 2003 (12:01am)
Cleveland, OH - The members of the DeViL 3k gaming clan suspect that puberty may be the reason that long time member Tadd Wiggin has disappeared. If suspicions prove accurate, it would be the third clan member abducted by puberty in the past year.

Read more here.
By: Hellvis
Friday, Apr 4th 2003 (9:47am)
Campbells had to recall 56,000 pounds of soup because the can doesn't say it has cheese in it. Whodathunk Campbell's Select, Ready to Serve, Italian Sausage with Pasta and Pepperoni, NEW! MIGHT have cheese in it?
By: Scott
Friday, Feb 28th 2003 (6:59pm)
I swear, I was just RESEARCHING nuclear weapons... uh, for a book that I'm writing.. yeah...
By: Hellvis
Wednesday, Jan 15th 2003 (10:10am)
This lady thinks our President is insane. Welcome to the world, how nice of you to join us.
By: faedra
Monday, Nov 18th 2002 (4:34pm)
You're staring at her tits. You like her ass. She's very shapely. Look at those lips. God she is HOT. Wait... wait.. she's... she's... touching herself... oh yeah... have another beer baby... oh yeah... WAIT! I don't think she's creaming those pants!
By: chimpy
Tuesday, Sep 17th 2002 (8:36pm)
In a stunning display of common sense, four women were persuaded to stand topless in their windows or balconies so that a satellite could give them a mammogram.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jun 29th 2002 (12:19am)
I don't care what they ride, if you can't tell they are gay, then you deserve to get fucked in your ass. A Biker named Wuzzle. Yeah, he's straight!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
We all know that kids know everything. Hell, they aren't even afraid to give advice to airline pilots.
By: chimpy
Thursday, Jun 20th 2002 (8:35pm)
Hey! Get yer hands off me fondled stone! Margaret Thatcher fondled this here stone and I donna wantch ya to touch it!

People will bid on ANYTHING. Time to clean out the greasetrap at the local Mickey D's....
By: chimpy
Thursday, May 30th 2002 (12:00am)
In another astonishing example of your tax dollars working to uncover the hidden mysteries of the world, a Rochester School of Medicine study has determined that body piercing is linked to risky behavior in teens. GASP!
By: Dave
Thursday, May 9th 2002 (12:14am)
A definitive causal relationship exists between drug and alcohol use and teen sex, the Center For Figuring Out Really Obvious Things reported Monday.
By: Dave
Monday, May 6th 2002 (12:18am)
People love the ice cream, but hate the music that incessantly blares from the trucks - So some folks in Hartford are suing Mr. Softee to shut them up. I'm amazed this is so rare it qualifies as news.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Apr 30th 2002 (12:10am)
You have to practically beat sense into some people. Hey lady, you smell like ass. Pack your shit and move!
By: chimpy
Sunday, Apr 28th 2002 (10:18pm)
By: Dave
Wednesday, Mar 6th 2002 (2:39pm)

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