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Tuesday, July 23rd
But what would you know about being a Bum? Someone around these parts will soon know.
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (7:49pm)
Cloud.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (7:16am)
Where do Gummi Bears come from? No, not the Haribo factory. They actually come from other Gummi Bears. Who knew?
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (12:55am)
Manatee County Police discovered a human skull buried in Juan Zapata's backyard. His story? He bought it from a flea market and buried it because he 'felt sorry for it'.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (12:45am)
To my golf-crazed co-workers, who all have 2 arms and have never shot a hole-in-one: One-Armed Man Shoots Second Hole-In-One!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 23rd 2002 (12:40am)
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Monday, July 22nd
Hell no. But, it may be able to do things that man has only dreamt of. Get your pencils ready boys and girls, there will be a quiz later. Beef Jerky Experiment Week 3 is here!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (10:29am)
Look no further than the Peter Petrie Egg Seperator. For only 12 bucks you can seperate eggs and simulate snot until the cows come home!
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (12:17am)
And just in the nick of time - Operation TIPS, the federal project that would enlist 1 in 24 Americans to spy on the other 23, has been triumphantly smacked down by the House Majority Leader. Thank god there's someone up there who hasn't forgotten why we became Americans in the first place.
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (12:12am)
People around the world are complaining about the rising cost of gasoline. Haven't they been paying attention to the cost of bottled water?! People are paying as much as 250% more for water than gas these days. Now you can affordably drink good h2o by making your own with dehydrated water!
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (12:08am)
QUIZ TIME! What Kind Of Poo Are You?
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 22nd 2002 (12:03am)
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Sunday, July 21st
Time once again for the weekly religion roundup, where I lay upon thee all the God stuff I've come across over the course of the week - Let's get it on!

A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third.

The next day the local paper carried this headline: PASTOR'S ASS SHOWS

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

And of course, no Sunday post is complete without a pile of holy links, so bless your mouse and get clickin!
Cutesy Christ | God Of The Month Club | Wiccan Church Disruption
Death Sentence For Blasphemer | The Hugging Saint | God's Littlest Lambs

By: Dave
Sunday, Jul 21st 2002 (12:06am)
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Saturday, July 20th
Way back when I was between non-tech jobs, I applied for a job workin the counter at the Castle Boutique, a local smut shop chain. I didn't get the job (I think my sense of humor cost me that one), but I've always wondered what that experience would have been like. Here's a lady who keeps fun notes about her daily grind at the porno barn.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 20th 2002 (1:27am)
Good god, these are some grisly fucking dolls. You could seriously traumatize a kid with one, or better, yet, 50 - in the middle of the night, all surrounding the bed.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 20th 2002 (12:36am)
Dammit Snappy, get off Yang.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 20th 2002 (12:21am)
Dig on the Family Guy? Me too. So much so, I made this here soundboard just so I could have this shit handy.
By: dave
Saturday, Jul 20th 2002 (12:00am)
Friday, July 19th
I've never thought Courtney Love was a particularly attractive woman, but have you seen her lately? Inconceivably, she looks even worse than she used to.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:17am)
Why wear perfume that makes you smell all flowery when you can wear the sparkling scent of dirt?
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:17am)
Even the Onion recognizes KISS for what they have become - soulless shills who'll slap their name on anything for a buck.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:10am)
Yknow, now that I've had it all laid out in front of me, I can see pretty clearly that them Mario Brothers are pinkos! It all adds up!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:10am)
Thursday, July 18th
Ok, if you're still not shaken by the recent radical reduction of our freedom, here's some more grisly news for ya: in the name of protecting us from cyber-terrorism, the House just overwhelmingly passed computer crime bill that calls for life sentences for 'hackers' - that's right, you can now spend the rest of your life in a cell for maliciously hacking websites.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:21am)
(more)   [Comments: 7]
An Illinois man has been charged with hitting his grandmother with frozen meat. Officials say this isn't the first time someone in Madison County has resorted to using frozen meat as a weapon.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:11am)
Not one, but TWO candidates for this year's Einstien Award For Excellence: Man Reports Stolen Marijuana To Cops, and even better, Canadian Stoner Misdials 411, Calls 911, Gets Busted. So what's it like being rocket scientists, guys?
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:11am)
Got what it takes to raise rabbits? Play Breeder and find out!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:04am)
Wednesday, July 17th
Feeling nice and complacent with your inalienable rights? As is so often the case these days, the War On Terrorism/Drugs/Freedom once again justifies trampling all over your civil liberties with the introduction of the Citizen Corps.

The government's goal for the first wave of recruitment is 1 out of every 24 Americans: specifically, people who have access to the inside of other people's homes... like cable installers, postmen, telephone repairmen, etc etc. Their function in the Corps? To report suspicious activity so it can be databased and fed to law enforcement, who can act upon that data without warrants, consent, or even your knowledge - thanks to the Patriot Act.

If you'd like to sign up and be the neighborhood mole, here's the application, on a secure server and everything, since your privacy is such a prized commodity. Remember, we're at war with Eurasia, and have always been. Questioning authority is a thoughtcrime!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:23am)
A Day In The Life Of Justin.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:16am)
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