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Friday, July 19th
I've never thought Courtney Love was a particularly attractive woman, but have you seen her lately? Inconceivably, she looks even worse than she used to.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:17am)
Why wear perfume that makes you smell all flowery when you can wear the sparkling scent of dirt?
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:17am)
Even the Onion recognizes KISS for what they have become - soulless shills who'll slap their name on anything for a buck.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:10am)
Yknow, now that I've had it all laid out in front of me, I can see pretty clearly that them Mario Brothers are pinkos! It all adds up!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 19th 2002 (12:10am)
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Thursday, July 18th
Ok, if you're still not shaken by the recent radical reduction of our freedom, here's some more grisly news for ya: in the name of protecting us from cyber-terrorism, the House just overwhelmingly passed computer crime bill that calls for life sentences for 'hackers' - that's right, you can now spend the rest of your life in a cell for maliciously hacking websites.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:21am)
(more)   [Comments: 7]
An Illinois man has been charged with hitting his grandmother with frozen meat. Officials say this isn't the first time someone in Madison County has resorted to using frozen meat as a weapon.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:11am)
Not one, but TWO candidates for this year's Einstien Award For Excellence: Man Reports Stolen Marijuana To Cops, and even better, Canadian Stoner Misdials 411, Calls 911, Gets Busted. So what's it like being rocket scientists, guys?
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:11am)
Got what it takes to raise rabbits? Play Breeder and find out!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 18th 2002 (12:04am)
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Wednesday, July 17th
Feeling nice and complacent with your inalienable rights? As is so often the case these days, the War On Terrorism/Drugs/Freedom once again justifies trampling all over your civil liberties with the introduction of the Citizen Corps.

The government's goal for the first wave of recruitment is 1 out of every 24 Americans: specifically, people who have access to the inside of other people's homes... like cable installers, postmen, telephone repairmen, etc etc. Their function in the Corps? To report suspicious activity so it can be databased and fed to law enforcement, who can act upon that data without warrants, consent, or even your knowledge - thanks to the Patriot Act.

If you'd like to sign up and be the neighborhood mole, here's the application, on a secure server and everything, since your privacy is such a prized commodity. Remember, we're at war with Eurasia, and have always been. Questioning authority is a thoughtcrime!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:23am)
A Day In The Life Of Justin.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:16am)
I have absolutely no clue what THIS is all about. Someone tell me, quick, before I'm forced to manually push a bullet into my forehead.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:16am)
So what do you get when you cross, Flash, Willy Wonka, and Sloth from Goonies? You get one weird ass game.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:16am)
Are you ready to catch a BIG ONE? Do you wanna make your fingers smell ALL FISHY? Are you ready for an explicit sub-aquatic experience? Yeah? Then have a go at Prawnography!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 17th 2002 (12:02am)
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Tuesday, July 16th
Strange Foreign Objects Found in Dog Feces!
By: Madkow
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (11:08pm)
I can't tell you how many times I've been surfing thru channels on the tv only to come across lumberjack games on ESPN7 or whatever, and then spend the next couple of hours watching big burly dudes biting down trees and throwing logs and stuff. It's fun to watch, but think of how much better it would be with hot chicks wielding the axes and chainsaws!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (12:16am)
Everyone's seen those Hello Kitty vibrators, but check THIS out: a .45 caliber Hello Kitty pistol!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (12:13am)
...animutations, those unfathomably twisted little flash flicks from Neil Cicierega? Nothing! He's still cranking 'em out, including the righteous Batman And The Magical Band-Aid!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (12:08am)
For as long as anyone can remember, dogs have not only been man's best friend, but they have also been man's best meal.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jul 16th 2002 (12:05am)
Monday, July 15th
Here it is, BJE Week 2! And this week you're gonna get a lot more than you bargained for!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:27am)
This is Zombo Com! You Can Do Anything At Zombo Com! The only limit is yourself. Welcome. This is Zombo Com, yes, this is Zombo Com. Welcome to you!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:16am)
It had to happen sooner or later - G. I. Joe comes to the stage in COBRA: The Musical! I do so love the culture of the theatre.
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:16am)
You rikey ukulele? You rikey rearn to pray ukulele? Me Rikey Teach You!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:14am)
Nothing sucks worse than a cold vibrator. Thank god for Fuzzies!
By: Dave
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:14am)
Bill likes to share too fucking much!
By: Scott
Monday, Jul 15th 2002 (12:06am)
Tuesday

  • Pie Day
  • National Handwriting Day
  • Measure Your Feet Day

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