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Thursday, June 13th
Did you know that there's a small tube that runs from the uppermost point of the inside of the foreskin, through the body cavity, and out the intestine? It's true! This can be demonstrated -- nothing up my sleeve! -- by tucking a small handkerchief up inside a foreskin, massaging gently, and then removing it from the rear.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:16am)
MTV, the Hard Rock Hotel, and Ashton Kutcher (better known as Kelso from That 70's Show and other intellectual endeavors) have REALLY fucked up - to the tune of 120 million bucks or so. How? Like this. Good goin, guys.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:11am)
I noticed from yesterday's posts that Cartoon Network is going to start cranking out new He-Man cartoons, complete with Skeletor... which is probably a good thing, since old boney-face can't seem to hold a job.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:10am)
I don't mind bugs, including spiders, but the thought of one living in my ear just wigs the shit out of me.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jun 13th 2002 (12:10am)
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Wednesday, June 12th
Cartoon Network is feeding our inner child one revamped toon at a time. Coming August 16th, you will hear him say once again, "By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!". And you'll need RealPlayer to view the clip. ;)
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
I've always thought that cybersex was pathetically ridiculous, but in the right hands, an IM cyber session can turn into the funniest damn thing you'll read all week. Meet Amber Forever, a supposed 14-year-old girl who takes on the webpervs and cranks out pure comedy gold. BraVO!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
Oh man, this guy is my new favorite filmmaker. Sorry, Kev.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
When umbrellas are outlawed, only outlaws will have umbrellas.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
Introducing the Jacuzzi La Scala, a full-featured jacuzzi adorned with a 42" plasma flat-screen TV, and a floating remote. This is SO much nicer than the bucket with the 9" B/W TV that I use.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 12th 2002 (12:19am)
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Tuesday, June 11th
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains
Within the sound of meat.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
Her name is Pinky. Pinky is a homeless deaf mute. But that's ok, I still love her all the same. I'll never forget the brisk March morning when i found her sleeping in a dumpster behind a adult toy store, while i was searching for aluminum cans and something to eat.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
The federal government spent $62 million on a building to store and treat low-level radioactive waste at a California nuclear weapons laboratory, then decided the structure wasn't secure enough.

So where is the waste kept now? Under tents, just outside the building. Yet another prime example of your tax dollars at work.
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:27am)
Fuck the Sims! Osbournes!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 11th 2002 (12:02am)
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Monday, June 10th
... of a drug called porn.
What's the worst that can happen... blindess and chaffing?
By: chimpy
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (8:02pm)
Yes, the new VW Bugs may suck hairy ass - but they have one undocumented feature that noone seems to know about.
By: chimpy
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (7:31pm)
Behold the intellectual majesty that is Ultraville Kat Attaq!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:21am)
Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror is not over yet."
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:18am)
The genteel sport of croquet took a swing on the less civilized side when four players entered into a skull-cracking melee with a group of softball players.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. pie. When come back bring pie.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
Yes, it's Fametracker's must-have list of must-miss flicks. No, we haven't actually seen any of these movies. Ask us again in September, and the answer will be the same.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 10th 2002 (12:14am)
Sunday, June 9th
Nothing says 'hello' like a baby picture tucked away in a hallmark greeting card. Just make sure the picture didn't come from here. EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
By: chimpy
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (10:15pm)
Wow, this is the most amazing innovation I've ever SEEN!
By: Madkow
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (6:08pm)
And the Lord said "Let there be computers, and an operating system that blesses the user with the blood and crash protection of My Son".

And there were computers, and there was an OS... and the Lord said "It is Good..." because the OS was Jesux.
By: chimpy
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (12:05pm)
Sundays just keep getting bigger and better here at the davelog. Since I've started going out of my way to make the Sunday post... um... better, my hate mail has increased tenfold - which says to me that I should keep running with it. Let's go.


3 nuns die and go to heaven. As they approach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that they are welcome to come in, as long as they confess their sins before entering.

The first nun steps up and says, "Forgive me for I have sinned. Since my last confession, I have seen a man's penis."

"No problem," says St. Peter, "Just cleanse your eyes with the holy water in this basin", pointing to a holy water-filled basin.

The first nun goes to the basin and sprinkles her eyes with the holy water, then she walks through the gates into heaven.

The third nun turns to the second nun and says, "You'd better let me go next - I don't want to gargle it after you've sat in it."

click on 'read more' for a larger version


Oh, that was bad. We'd better get to the links, fast.

Things Creationists Hate | Demon Buster | Patron Saint Of Magic
Underage Catholic Wrestlemania | Jesus Shoots! He Scores!
Pancakes Without Preaching | Top Ten Commandments
D.I.Y. Weeping Madonna | God's LiveJournal | Butter Last Supper
By: Dave
Sunday, Jun 9th 2002 (12:18am)
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Monday

  • National Mole Day
  • Tv Talk Show Host Day

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