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Wednesday, June 26th
I'm referring, of course, to the International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dyslexic Newborn Gerbils. This organization, now in its fifth year of existence, is devoted to the plight of the helpless infant gerbils that come into this harsh world unable to learn, write, or even communicate with their families.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:27am)
Oreo has perverted Willy Wonka. Has she no shame?
No, she does not.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:25am)
Everyone instantly thinks 'oh no, computer virus BAD!' and well, yeah, most of them are - but here are a few harmless ones that are just fun pranks to play on your co-workers. Note to Fordo: Don't even try it, I've seen these already.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:25am)
...and quite frankly, so do most other Elf Chicks. I dunno why, it's obviously not the ears, otherwise Vulcan chicks would ring my bell too.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jun 26th 2002 (12:06am)
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Tuesday, June 25th
Now, I donít know nuthiní about explosives or fissionable materials, so I canít tell you if Jose Padilla did anything wrong or not. But I do know that when I was in college, we called homemade burritos "dirty bombs", and if you were bold enough to eat one, this was the likely result.
By: goofyfish
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (7:10am)
Okay, admit it - seeing some rich dude's fancy BMW get smashed beyond recognition makes you feel pretty good, doesn't it? I mean, as long as no one was hurt.

Something tells me I'll never own a car expensive enough to be considered for this hall of shame.
By: goofyfish
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (5:41am)
Are you a meat lover? Dress to the nines from your meat hat down to your pork chop shoes and proclaim your beefy desires from the rooftops!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:28am)
Relive the glory days of an era gone past where there were fewer lawyers than cockroaches, and the best games were insanely dangerous: Build your own lawn darts!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:28am)
...and probably by me.. But there ain't nothing like Used Pantys Online. Used Pantys Online consists of people like yourself who enjoy the pleasurable stimulating scent of a beautiful womans sexuality. This site is run by the girls involved with the site.
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
I don't care what they ride, if you can't tell they are gay, then you deserve to get fucked in your ass. A Biker named Wuzzle. Yeah, he's straight!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
I am officially a Britney Spears fan. Not to mention a Saran Wrap Enthusiast!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those spiders doing?" she asked

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked

"That's a daddy longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" the little girl asked.

"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of shit in our garden."
By: Dave
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
When I was about 6 years old I had to go to a birthday party and needless to say there was going to be a clown there to entertain and take pictures with us. Before this I never had any fear of clowns and in fact I thought they were neat. So when it was my turn to get my picture taken with him I jumped into his lap and was all smiles, until, he turned to me and said in a deep quiet whisper " I like you a lot, you smell good"..

As if clowns stinking was not enough, now they're smelling you! Check out these clown stories, and feel the fear!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 25th 2002 (12:13am)
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Monday, June 24th
"While you are sitting on the toilet, simply remove it by gently pinching the base of the cup..." Color me old fashioned, but do we REALLY need a vaginal shot glass?
By: goofyfish
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (7:50am)
And here I was, thinking that a brown dwarf was a "failed star" that did not have enough mass to shine by nuclear fusion. I want my college tuition back.
By: goofyfish
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (7:30am)
This Box Office Report is brought to you by Hollowood, and Davelog. Reporting numbers like our name was the Count.

The number one movie this weekend was Minority Report with took in over $36 Million. To see the rest of the top 5, read more! Or click here for the entire top ten.
By: Scott
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
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Or is it Head gives good Walt Disney.. Hell, I don't know. It's something about head and Disney.
By: Scott
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
So there I was, minding my own business when I bent over to pick up my cat. The next thing you know a Coke Bottle tried to fuck me in the ass! Did I mention it was pretty succesful?
By: Scott
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
Need I say more? PIG BOOBS!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
Introducing the NanoGuitar - it's carved out of crystalline silicon and is smaller than a single cell. Each string is 100 atoms wide. Naturally, the first song played on it was 'Smoke On The Water'.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
Give your ex-gf the only thing she ever wanted from you anyway. A Mold of Your Manhood. And if she doesn't want it, it'll make a nice gift for your boss.
By: Scott
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:52am)
You never outgrow some things - stomping through mud puddles, ripping off condom machines, and mindless find-something-in-an-intricate-picture games.
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:07am)
Start your week off right by kicking a nazi kitten head around!
By: Dave
Monday, Jun 24th 2002 (12:07am)
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Sunday, June 23rd
There are those who would say that my weekly mockery of all things religious might come back to haunt me in the form of, say, eternal damnation or being plagued by computer problems. To those people, I say GET REAL, I'm suffering computer problems because I had the audacity to try and upgrade my system, an endeavor which NEVER goes smoothly, whether I thumb my nose at the Pope or not. With that said, I'm having computer problems this weekend so the Sunday links are gonna be a little thin. Deal with it. If it leaves you unfulfilled, I recommend you go moon a couple of churches. At noon. After eating curry.


The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up.

A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."

The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped, "What---did---you---say---?"

The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute."

"A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweet Jesus! That's wonderful, dear. I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."

mmm. nun pie.

Now, on to the paltry selection of links!
God Answers | Stigmatic Monk | Finger Of God
Jesse Ventura Wrestles God | God Blinds Masturbator
By: Dave
Sunday, Jun 23rd 2002 (12:29am)
Saturday, June 22nd
Because he is THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR!! When they say Affleck is horny, it ain't no joke in this flick.
By: Scott
Saturday, Jun 22nd 2002 (1:12am)
Wednesday

  • School Nurse Day
  • Compliment Day

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