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Sunday, July 28th
Football season is comin', but until that glorious first kickoff of the pre-season, I have nothing better to do with my Sundays than rehash all the religious crap I've wandered across in the past week. Hunker down, because here it comes!
Pat Buchanan, Mao Tse-Tung, and Bill Gates were called to the carpet by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. God told them that there was nothing they could do to alter his decision, but they would be allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening.

So, Pat Buchanan went in and told his followers, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news . . . there IS a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Mao Tse-Tung went back and told his people, "I have bad news and more bad news. The first bad new is that there IS a God. The second bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and better news. The first good news is that God thinks I am one of the three most important people in the world. The second good news is that you don't have to fix the bugs in Windows 2000."
Wow, that joke really stunk. Oh Well. Redeem thyself for the remainder of thy day with thy sacred linkage:

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em RabbisChristian HackersWall Street Heathens
Jesuits kidnap Uncle SamMormon UnderwearPrayer Panties
David Hasslehoff Is The AntichristGLAD Magazine
By: Dave
Sunday, Jul 28th 2002 (12:28am)
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Saturday, July 27th
But yeah, this is just too funny.
By: Scott
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (12:40pm)
Rocky's mom, Jacqueline Stallone, wants you to send her your butt-print and a hundred bucks.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (10:01am)
The upcoming NFL season just keeps looking better and better, especially now that Ryan Leaf is retiring. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (12:48am)
Just the other day I was saying to a friend, "wouldn't it be great if there was a huge collection of those cheesy old Atari commercials someplace where you could download them all for free?" The coincidence simply boggles the mind.
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (12:41am)
Just because Project TIPS got shot down recently doesn't mean it's not a threat anymore - things like this don't just disappear, it'll be back with minor revisions. Good thing to know that there are projects out there like TIPSTIPS, where you can report people who you think are reporting you. In this day and age, who'da thunk we'd still be running around pointing fingers and yelling 'NARK'?
By: Dave
Saturday, Jul 27th 2002 (12:32am)
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Friday, July 26th
It's almost football season!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (7:29am)
YO TROOPERS PEEP THIS, KNOCKIN' BOOTS IS STOOPID FRESH. BUT ON THE SERIOUS TIP, YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF. BOYZ DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOUR JIM HAT (JIMMY CAP, SHOWER CAP, RAIN COAT). GIRLZ, MAKE A POSITIVE MOVE. FROM THE GIT GO KNOW THE WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF. YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY NO. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK YOUR TEACHER, PARENT OR COUNSELOR. THAT'S THE STRAIGHT UP TRUTH, BELIEVE DAT. IN YOUR FACE.

Ice cream + street advice + goofy whiteboy ebonics = Posse Pops.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (7:27am)
...then brain-eataing amoebas will probably keep you out of the lakes.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (12:27am)
What a marvel of medical science! Way back when I was a kid, if a donkey bit off your wiener, you could pretty much count it gone forever... but not anymore!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 26th 2002 (12:16am)
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Thursday, July 25th
LOL LMAO, OMG That is soooo LOL. Dude, BRB, I gotta FYMINHA! ROFL!!!! This Quiz is like TFC!!
By: Scott
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:06am)
It may be just a blog, but it has such a great name.
By: Scott
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:06am)
Not even the mighty Green Lantern can take Aquaman down!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:06am)
Here in the states the headlines are all corruption and oppression, but across the pond, it's front page news when the queen watches a cow pee.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:06am)
Is there nothing you can't buy on eBay? Check out this kickin' deal, 300 tampons for 20 bucks. As a special bonus, there's 10 cardboard tampons as well!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:02am)
Oh, I'm gonna get some miles out of this one - at Shoot-it.org you can upload a picture of your most heinous foe and gank his shit with your gat all the live long day! -BLAM- Whee!
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 25th 2002 (12:01am)
Wednesday, July 24th
Entire episodes of the Muppet Show (among others) in GERMAN!!
By: Madkow
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (11:54am)
...because a 2-kilometer rock is headed straight for us and due in about 16 and a half years. If it hits, the damage will be on a continental scale, so start signing up on those 30-year mortgages!
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (1:17am)
More than 400 sheep took the big dirt nap this weekend in mountainous southeastern France.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (1:01am)
Here's some light reading with lots of pictures of shark bites.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:50am)
Thanx in part to the Oompa crew, Tha Wonk has dropped da air hockey bomb in yo' mutha's fizzace.
By: Madkow
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:31am)
Conan O'Brien will be hosting this years Emmy Awards. If they don't have Triumph doing the preshow interviews they should all be shot!
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:16am)
And I sure am glad that someone else out there hates them as much as I do.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:11am)
Say hi to Muffin when you see him at the Crossroads.
By: Scott
Wednesday, Jul 24th 2002 (12:06am)
Thursday


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