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Friday, July 12th 2002
Dave may have posted this before, because I know he LOVES these things, but it needs to be said again. Chicks with missing teeth are hot!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
I always wondered if shit like this would happen if I worked at KFC.
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
If only there were a website that could help me hook up with my cousins.. Wait.. there is? YES!! YES!!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
I'll file this under education, cuz Mr. T is about to take your ass to school!!
By: Scott
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:53am)
No kidding - the Time Travel Fund will bank your membership, and thanks to compound interest rates, when the technology is available the fund wil pay big bucks to bring you back to the future - and you should have PLENTY left over for living expenses. After all, 1 dollar at 5% interest over 500 years comes out to, oh, about 40 billion dollars.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:45am)
Not only can he sense danger, pick up buses, and hose down bad guys with his webbing, he can also make you gay with his manly dance.
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:11am)
How many different languages can you say "Oh my God! There's an axe in my head!" in? Thanks to this site, 102!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:11am)
After all, they don't even let the intensely strict anti-drug laws slow them down - they'll pack their noses with cow shit and styrofoam just to cop a buzz. Those nutty Maylaysians!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 12th 2002 (12:02am)
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Thursday, July 11th 2002
Couples from eight countries participated in an unusual competition of physical strength and agility at this year's wife-carrying championship in Finland. Oh look, there's even video.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:17am)
Plastic bags designed for committing suicide are to be manufactured in Brisbane and given away to Australians, euthanasia campaigner Philip Nitschke said on Tuesday. To avoid prosecution, Exit Australia will distribute the bags without instructions on their use.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
Alleys vary greatly and, until now, there was simply no way to be certain that the one you've chosen to spend your evening in maintains a reasonable level of gothic charm.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
Remember Brodie and TC's conversation in Mallrats where Brodie was talking about Lois Lane's inability to withstand sex with Superman, and how his super-load would no doubt blow out of her back like a shotgun? Well, I knew I'd heard that someplace before, when I was a kid I had read it in a short piece of prose called Man Of Steel, Woman Of Kleenex by Larry Niven. Thanks to this interweb thingy, here it is in its' entirety.
By: Dave
Thursday, Jul 11th 2002 (12:15am)
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Wednesday, July 10th 2002
Of course, now that I work in an office where literally EVERYONE is rabid about golfing, I figured it'd do my career good to at least pick up a few golf tips - so now I know all the little tricks, like:
  • To get the most out of a Sunday afternoon on the golf course, be trapped in a loveless marriage to a shrill, clothes-obsessed witch you can't stand to be around.
  • When golfing with a female half your age, offer to "help her with her swing," standing behind her and steadying her hips while grinding your crotch into her ass.
  • For maximum golfing fun, get yourself a high-tech golf bag that shoots your clubs out automatically and plays Journey's "Any Way You Want It" at the touch of a button.
  • By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (1:06am)
    Which Colossal Death Robot are you?
    By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (1:06am)
    Ever wonder what your name looks like when written in Egyptian heiroglyphs? Sure you have! Knock yourself out!
    By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (1:06am)
    Yep, Wonka Wednesday again! Take a gander at what makes Willy tick with Mein Kandy: The Life and Atrocities of Willy Wonka!
    By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (1:06am)
    Think that Fabio is some kinda perfect stud muffin dude biscuit? Wrong! He's a pig!
    By: Dave
    Wednesday, Jul 10th 2002 (12:03am)
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    Tuesday, July 9th 2002
    Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

    The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have
    bad news; she has suffered permanent brain injury, and will be mentally 3 years old for the rest of her life."

    Harry begins to weep quietly as the doctor continues, "She also lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

    Harry begins to sob uncontrollably and the doctor, feeling his pain, chuckles and says, "No dude, I'm just fuckin' with you. She's dead."
    By: goofyfish
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (10:11am)
    There are a few things that just don't go well together. Ketchup and peaches would be one for my list and so would Star Wars and gangsta rap. This Flash adaptation of the Star Wars saga isn't a graphical masterpiece, but you gotta laugh as the Emperor and Darth Vader bust a rhyme while they plot to turn Luke to the Dark Side.
    By: goofyfish
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (6:09am)
    That's nuthin - check out some of the gems on the books here in Arizona.
    By: Dave
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
    One of the happiest fun-time websites in existence, Asylum Eclectica, has decreed this month's malady to be smallpox. Delightful.
    By: Dave
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
    Dogs are stupidly obedient, cats are intentionally standoffish, and birds are fucking thieves.
    By: Dave
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
    ...because she keeps forgetting to tell it to John Kane:

    Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
    A: Cancer.
    By: Dave
    Tuesday, Jul 9th 2002 (12:14am)
    Monday, July 8th 2002
    By: Some Nobody
    Monday, Jul 8th 2002 (9:27pm)
    Tuesday


    Dec 18, 2018
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