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Sunday, September 8th 2002
I'm so jazzed about this particular Sunday - it's the first Sunday of the 2002-2003 NFL season! Guess where I am? No, knucklehead, not church, I'm planted in front of a TV in a seedy motel room in Flagstaff! Call it a sabbatical. Anyway, thanks to remote control, I give to you all the religious dreck I've found in the past week. Enjoy!
In the beginning, the plan for a divine human design was painstakingly implemented.

"The nerve endings," said St. Peter, "how many will I put in her hands?"

"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.

"Two hundred, O Mighty One."

"Then we shall do the same for the woman."

"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals, O Mightiest?"

"How many did we put in Adam?"

"Four hundred twenty, O Mighty One."

"Oh yeah, now I remember, we wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman."

"Yes, O Great Lord."

"Wait! Hold it, Pete, Give her ten thousand, it'd be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."

Wow, what a stinker that one was. Well, let's not dwell on it and move on to the holy linkage:
Microchip Of The Beast Satan Kicked Out Of Prison Bad Christian Movies
Nazi/Mormon Connection Suck The Rug Reggae For Jesus
Juggler For Jesus Congressional Chaplains God Machine
By: Dave
Sunday, Sep 8th 2002 (12:11am)
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Saturday, September 7th 2002
Ever want to kill a nun with a fish? Try playing this take on hangman
By: faedra
Saturday, Sep 7th 2002 (10:41am)
On Friday August 23rd 2002 Zac "Mr Magnet" Monro, 2001 AGWC Champ and meek mild mannered architect from London, won the 7th Annual Air Guitar World Championship held in Oulu, Finland. The Ideology of AGWC is to promote world peace. According to the ideology, all evil things disappear from the world whenever people play the Air Guitar.
By: Some Nobody
Saturday, Sep 7th 2002 (4:58am)
Note to self: Before waving to fans, move away from the helicopter.
By: Dave
Saturday, Sep 7th 2002 (12:14am)
Seems like no matter where you're from, everyone has a goofy 'OH' face: Orgasms From Around The World!
By: Dave
Saturday, Sep 7th 2002 (12:06am)
M$'s new game Age Of Mythology is being hyped with a contest, where the winner gets a free trip to Greece. Someone should clue them in that in Greece, all computer games are illegal!
By: Dave
Saturday, Sep 7th 2002 (12:06am)
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Friday, September 6th 2002
Ladies love sweet, smooth taste, like the inside of a cream filled, chocolate Valentine candy... Put a smile on your cumdrinkers' faces.
By: goofyfish
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (11:15am)
Proving that ABC NEWS and Good Morning America are on top of every breaking news story out there, the GMA Crew and thier weatherman were duped by a group of actors from a show that appears on their own network!
By: Scott
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (11:05am)
Never borrow other people's pictures from online sources - especially if you're hard-linking to pictures in your eBay auction. They might get pissed and Make a complete ass out of you.
By: chimpy
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (9:03am)
Apparantly a female politician who is running for a seat in the Swedish parliament is calling for all day porn on television every week in order to help boost the country's population and economy.
By: m0j0
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (6:49am)
Squirrels, cute as they are, make lousy goalies. Score some mad shots against the fluffies with Peanut!
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (12:16am)
Ever wonder what the davelog looks like thru John Malkovitch's eyes? Like this.
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (12:12am)
Ok, I got my sister's Catholic school skirt, get the gang together and meet me in the woods!
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (12:07am)
Man, those Germans know how to have an election. Think of the turnout we'd get in American elections if we weren't so uptight.
By: Dave
Friday, Sep 6th 2002 (12:05am)
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Thursday, September 5th 2002
Just when you thought that the airlines policy on fat people in seats had reached the peak of stupidity, in comes the fucktards at Peta.
By: faedra
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (2:55pm)
Mittens wasn't really trying to smell your spicy brains.
By: faedra
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:30pm)
Ever wonder how guided missles work? It's not as complicated as you'd think. Listen to this simple explaination and amaze your friends with your new-found knowledge.
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:16am)
Lance Bass blew his chance to go into space by not coughing up the 20 mil to the Russians, but that's ok - he can still get some down-to-earth thrills with Uncle Ted for a mere million bucks!
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:13am)
Do you live in pristine primness or fertile filth? Rate your living conditions using the Beaufort Scale of Domestic Squalor!
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:06am)
The fish live.

Two months after Crofton's snakehead infestation became an international sensation, one month after a panel of experts picked its poison to flush the fish from the pond, and almost two weeks after an herbicidal cocktail was sprayed over the water, the fish are still biting. THEY JUST WON'T DIE!!!
By: Dave
Thursday, Sep 5th 2002 (12:04am)
Wednesday, September 4th 2002
Been on the lookout for the perfect mate? Tall dark, and in pantyhose? Perfect! Peter Pan is back on the market!
By: faedra
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:50am)
To the person (or persons) who finds it funny to repeatedly position my star wars figurines in inappropriate positions, please stop.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:17am)
I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet.
By: faedra
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:15am)
Ya remember that scene in Titanic, when the ship was all upended in the water, and all those people were screaming and sliding down the deck to their certain deaths? Ya remember that? That was awesome.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:11am)
Take a trip to the post office.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Sep 4th 2002 (12:06am)
Tuesday

  • National Hot Dog Day
  • Vanilla Ice Cream Day

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