davelog
No person speaks the truth when there is something they must have
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NFL SEASON IS UPON US and that means it's time for this year's Pick'em league! Sign up at Yahoo Fantasy Sports, group # 12402, and the password is v3. More info in the official thread!
Backscratchers: wonderful to have, difficult to find. Sure, every household may have one, but where the hell is it when you need it? And once you've given up looking for that one aunt Gertie got you as a housewarming gift back in the '80s, good luck finding a replacement at your local mall*.
The answer is simple. Buy them in bulk so you can have one every 10 feet all over the house. Where can you find such quantities of backscratchers in a variety of styles and composition to suit your unique lifestyle needs? Well, look no further! * I know from personal experience that no matter how loud you yell 'BACKSCRATCHERS' in Hot Topic, you'll only get blank stares in return. 
By: dave
Monday, Sep 6th 2010 (12:19am)
Little plastic dudes whose only job is to hold down the paper lid on your Cup O' Noodles while it cooks. Brilliant. However, it occurs to me that if you have the $59 (plus shipping!) for a set of 3, you probably ain't eating Cup O' Noodles.
With all of our modern science and hoity-toity technology, we still haven't been able to produce the ultimate tool: the glow-in-the-dark crowbar. That is, until now.
By: dave
Tuesday, Jul 6th 2010 (5:56am)
If your dog isn't quite cutting the mustard anymore as a pet, don't just throw him into the lake - upgrade him into that most majestic of mythological beasts, the noble unicorn. All you need is a credit card and a Dremel.
By: dave
Tuesday, May 25th 2010 (12:05am)
Not by lowering yourself to using more energy-efficient machines or actually recycling all those Mountain Dew bottles, but you can certainly give the appearance of a more harmonious natural environment with these leafy plastic zipties wrapped around your cables, cords, pens, and anatomy.
Here in Arimazona, we don't get the east-coast glory that is White Castle - except for those boxes of burgers in the grocer's freezer section, but that doesn't count - so for the most part, we are a deprived lot. We don't know the joy of walking through the restaurant doors and being faceblasted by the scent of greasy heartmeat cooked over a bed of reconstituted onions... until now. The White Castle candle is out, and just in time for Mother's Day!
By: dave
Tuesday, May 4th 2010 (6:09am)
Sure, you sit there smugly with your highball glass full of what you consider to be the cutting edge of beverage temperature management - but you're actually behind the times with your simple cubes. Get with the program, Jasper.
By: dave
Friday, Apr 9th 2010 (6:09am)
If you're building your GOOD (Get Out Of Dodge) bag, you could do worse than this little survival kit, which comes complete with a pistol and magazine, multi-tool, water purification tablets, first aid kit, space blankets, and some freeze-dried rations.
Ammo not included. That would need to be corrected.
By: dave
Monday, Mar 8th 2010 (4:46am) | Thanks: clusterflock
There's a fix for that, you know. A few, even.
My New Pink Button is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it.
By: dave
Thursday, Jan 7th 2010 (5:04am)
I thought we had some pretty swank couches in our home theater, but they look like red overstuffed piles of fake leather shit compared to this snazzy collection of groovy sofas.
We have a couple of hummingbird feeders here at the davelog compound, one right outside of the window by my desk where I spend most of my waking hours. From where I sit, I get a great view of these fascinating little birds as they come to suck down simple syrup.
Apparently, this vantage point isn't enough for some people. They want to be even closer.
Now you can emulate your favorite rockstars making breakfast with this metal - yet plastic - spatula.
Guess I should stock up on a few cases of this stuff.
Two things the Brits take very seriously: the Royal Family and tea. Fortunately, the Germans seem to take both with a grain of salt.
If you're gonna be rattling the pots and pans while belting out dinner, may as well do it up right!
By: dave
Monday, Aug 17th 2009 (5:54am)
Nothing squeaks you out of obligatory gift duty quite like the gift basket. Unfortunately, most gift baskets are crammed with hoity-toity stuff like almond biscotti and prickly pear marmalade that nobody really wants to use. If only there was some kind of gift basket stocked with goods more appropriate to our urban, aluminum-sided lifestyles. If only...
By: dave
Tuesday, Jul 28th 2009 (5:44am)
...naturally your first inclination once you get on the airplane is to grab the SkyMall catalog and start circling stuff with a jumbo marker like it was the Sears Wishbook.
Don't really have a strong opinion on anything, but don't want to miss out on the razzle-dazzle lifestyle of people with bumper stickers all over their car? Well, here you go.
Face it, mustaches make everything cooler - especially your bottle of soda. Hell, you could man up a Zima with one of these babies.
By: dave
Monday, Jun 8th 2009 (12:12am)
...and my ferocious staple remover will make sure you give it back.
* name the reference first for a gold star!
By: dave
Friday, May 22nd 2009 (12:05am) |
????????????????? King Crimson - Thela Hun Ginjeet Enemy Mine (1985)
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