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HOLLOWOOD 05/03/02
by Scott, 11/30/-1

News - Trailers - TV Report - Music

WELCOME!!

Here it is, folks. The death of one column creates life for another. Now don't think that I stopped doing the Wrestling Column because a lack of interest on your part. Truth is that it was more of a lack of interest on my part, and you folks were my scapegoat. At first the column seemed like a great idea. I read a lot of wrestling columns and I really wanted to take a shot at my own. I forgot one thing though. I'm lazy. Well not entirely, but when it comes to writing about wrestling I found that I was. The shows are so up and down that I found myself enjoying it one week and hating it the next. I saw the column being less and less about wrestling, and before that happened I decided to end it. Which takes us to Hollowood.

Hollowood was originally going to be a web based comic on the wacky world of Hollywood done by the Miraculous Mark Bleckley(tm) and written by, from time to time, yours truly. Well it never really got off the ground, and our plans were to do movie reviews and insert the comics into those. Again, laziness will be the death of me.

So in coming up with a name for this new column I suggested to Mark that I use the Hollowood name.(In case you're wondering about names I decided against.. Voice Mayle, Jews Don't Know My Name, Scott Talks Shit, Just Another Internet Column About Nothing, and Off Your Knees Bitch, were just a few of the hundreds) Mark then suggested we could also use it as an opportunity to add the comics from time to time.(which you can see at the beginning of the news section) So this incarnation of Hollowood was born.

I'd also like to take a moment to thank Mark for the logo and the the wonderful assortment of Scott Heads that you will be seeing as the weeks go by. One day, when he is famous, I'll be printing them out and selling em for $5 a pop!

But why not do it for your own site? The wonderfully marvelous, and hysterically entertaining, Skedoozy.com. Doing it for Davelog ensures that I'll probably be more... frequent in my writing. Doing a column for your own site is sorta like masturbating. If you're up for it, you do it. If you're not up for it, you don't. Working for another site you feel obligated to get it done. That, and Dave has an oh so gentle way of getting me to turn in things on a regular basis.

So let's get down to what this column will be about. Well I guess that's pretty obvious. I'll cover what happened during the week in relation to Hollywood. Movies, Television, Music, whatever I feel fits the criteria of cool news. Ain't it grand? The horizons may be dark, and some attractions may never come, but that will never stop me from cinescaping with all of you each week. *Insert sly wink here*

Besides the news I'll have celebrity interviews, mini-reviews, TV happenings, and Trailer Reports. The trailer reports will be for those of you who don't have the greatest Internet connection in the world and are unable to watch, or don't want to wait an hour to watch the latest trailers. They'll also come complete with links for those of you fortunate enough to have Broadband. AKA The Good People.

With all that in there the column may get a little long from time to time, but hey, that's a good thing right? You get what you pay for here at the Davelog. So let's get into it!



Written and Draw by Mark Bleckley ęSkedoozy.com
If you don't "get" this joke, email Mark.
He'll be happy to explain. For the 3 of you that
do get it, it's pretty damn funny.

What's Da Haps?
Resources: Dark Horizons - Cinescape - Coming Attractions - Aint It Cool News and various others.

Spider-Man The Movie opens today, Friday May 3rd! Go see this fucking movie. Go see it like 20 times. It's Spider-man! He does whatever a Spider can! I've been waiting for this movie since I was like... a fetus. See my mom had this thing with Stan Lee...anyway that's not important, what is important is that you go see this movie. You should also be treated to a tiny sneak preview of the Hulk movie coming out next summer.(if you can't get out to see the movie this weekend, or you didn't see the Hulk teaser at your theater, scroll down to the trailer report for a link to the trailer online.) When you get back from the movie email me, and tell me what you thought about it.

Speaking of Spider-Man. According to Kristen Dunst, (and we always know how right stars are) the sequel to Spidey will feature two villains,Dr. Octavius, AKA Doctor Octopus, and, well that's sort of a spoiler to the first film, as this would be villain has a cameo. So swipe the text below to see who the other villain will be if what Ms. Dunst says is on the money. If you ask me, Doc Ock is fine all by himself. Once you start bringing in more than one Villain that's when your movies turn to shit. Doesn't anyone remember the Batman sequels? I know we've all tried to forget, but we can learn from them people!
** Peter Parker can't seem to keep his job in Spider-man, and is fired by a Dr. Connors, who later becomes The Lizard. **

And our final bit of Spider-Man related news.. Stan "The Man" Lee has signed a production deal with MGM and Bruce Willis' production company Cheyenne Enterprises, to bring to the big screen comics from Stan Lee's POW! Entertainment. Director Antoine Fuqua (TRAINING DAY) is currently developing THE DOUBLE MAN with writer Alan McElroy. Fuqua has been one of my favorite directors since The Replacement Killers. It's good to see him finally getting the recognition he deserves. I, however, know nothign about The Double Man, so I'll be heading over to Stan Lee's Website to learn more about it.

Kevin Smith, the man responsible for the indy hit Clerks, as well as Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob: Strike Back, will be taking over writing duties on the comic, The Amazing Spider-Man. He won't be starting for awhile still but this is good news for Spidey fans. Smiths run on Daredevil and The Green Arrow have been critically praised and sold extremely well.

Vin Diesel will not be returning to his role as Dominic Torreto in the Sequel to The Fast and The Furious. Seems that Rob Cohen, the director of the first film, dropped out. And Vin was only in it if Rob was. Rob just saved your ass, Vin. If Vin's people are reading this(haha), call me. I have the perfect script for you.

Seems that Halle Berry is holding up production on X-Men 2 because she wants to re-negotiate her contract. You see, an Oscar Award winning actress deserves more money to deliver bad lines in an accent that can not be determined by the best linguists around the world. What happens when a psychotic bitch with hardly any talent wins an Oscar? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Speaking of Halle Berry.. My head hurts, this is too hard to report. She will soon be taking on the role of FOXY BROWN in a remake of the movie with the same name. God, why? What did we do to deserve this? Did we anger thee? Did we not catch Robert Blake fast enough? Is it the whole Carrot Top thing? Whatever it is, give us a second shot. Help us out. Don't let this happen! Show us that you are a forgiving diety.

The Pirates of the Caribbean. Great ride at Di$neyland, and soon to be a feature film from Di$ney, and uber producer Jerry Bruckheimer, may have found it's director. Gore Verbinski, the director of The Mexican(starring Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts) is said to be in talks to helm the film. I understand the movie will be much like the ride. Slow, and stiff, but with lots of Eye Candy. And oh yeah, that little Dip that catches you off guard half way through will be replaced with an Asteroid hurtling toward the pirate ship.

NBC may be paying Bill Clinton upwards of $50 Million a year to host his own talk show. To tell you the truth, I'd watch it everyday. He says he wants to be the next Oprah Winfrey. I think he was misquoted, and he was actually threatening Oprahs man, Steadman.

Quentin Tarantino will serve as executive producer of a movie based on Marvels cult comic book, Mort The Dead Teenager. Apparently Elija Wood is set to star. To get the role, Elija sent in a video of himself with his head cut off.

Insert Joke Here.The King Of Pop(music, not soda) Michael Jackson is set to Co-Direct a film about young orphan child that bounces from foster home to foster home. The film will be based on a book called, "They Cage the Animals at Night".

Okay, I guess one you hit a certain age you just lose your damn fool mind. Apparently fans of the ABC Drama Once and Again have bought a billboard that urges ABC to bring back the cancelled show. Wow! The fact that these "fans" are mostly made up of 30, and 40 something, divorced mothers who live in the fantasy that their very own Rocketeer is going to come in and sweep them off their feet, should not take away from the fact that this is so fucking LAME! LET IT GO! Where were you sorry shits when Quantum Leap was cancelled? Bastards.

Pamela Anderson is letting everyone know that she has lived with Hepatitis C for years and she is not dying. After it was reported that she had Hepatitis C, everyone has been coming up and hugging her and telling them how sorry they are that she is dying. She keeps having to tell them that she is not dying, and she si doing fine. She is however marrying Kid Rock, and almost 35, so all your sympathy is still welcome.

R. Kelly sings..."I don't see nothign wrong, with a little bump and grind..." yeah, but when you are doing the majority of your bumping and grinding with girls who aren't old enough to drive a bumper car, there IS somethign wrong with it. I guess when he sang "You remind me of my jeep" he meant because it's brand new and has low mileage.

Why can't I be South Korean for a day? A South Korean film called "Mago" is getting a lot of attention lately because the movie features 825 nude actors. Including 100 women recruited from colleges in Seoul. Mago was the second choice for the films name, the first was Korean Pie. Unfortuanately that name was owned by 2 Live Crew.

"Collateral Damage" Director Andrew Davis confirmed that he will be throwing the final shovel of dirt over his career by directing Under Siege 3.

According to "Employment Experts" Star Wars-related absenteeism could cost the US economy more than $300m. People skipping work on May 16th to see Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones are going to kill our countries economy. Why can't I get a job like that? Not the kind that I can take off to go see a movie. But the kind that allows me to waste so much freaking time on some stupid ass research. How the hell do these things get funded?


They come before the movie, so why are they called Trailers?

Signs - Full Trailer - Starring Mel Gibson, Directed by M. Night Shymalamasomething.
Click Here For Various Sizes and formats

A very intense trailer giving away more of the storyline then previous teaser trailers have. Basically showing us that in the movie these crop circles are showing up all over the word, and in a matter of hours it's becoming a world wide phenomenon. Panic and fear grips the world and something strange is happening on Mel Gibsons farm. Are there monsters outside the window? Are there aliens invading earth? Hell if I know, but I want to! Looks to be this late summers big hit. But can M. Night keep making movies with big twists at the end? After seeing this trailer I am pumped to see what he has in store for us this time out.

Men In Black 2 - Full Trailer - Starring Wil Smith, and Tommy Lee Jones.
Click here for various sizes in Quicktime

My first thought was "funny". Which wasn't my first thought after seeing the original MIB. I'm not an MIB basher, but not its greatest supporter either. It lacked the attitude to be a great movie. From the looks of this trailer they seem to have found that attitude. The MIB seem to have gotten an attitude upgrade since the last time we saw them. Complete with new vehicles...THAT FLY! Pretty cool looking trailer with some funny lines from WIl Smith. If the trailer is any indication of this films attitude then hopefully MIB 2 will be better than the original.

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones - TV Spots.
Click here for all the TV Spots in MPEG.
Or if you prefer Quicktime, go here.

To be honest, I didn't watch them. I saw the Bounty Hunter one on TV the other day though, and it was cool. I just figured you guys would like to know about them being available.




Minority Report - Full Theatrical Trailer - Starring Tom Cruise, Directed by Steven Spielberg
Click here to choose from Real Player or Windows Media

It was nice to finally see more of this movie. I've been eagerly anticipating it since I saw the teaser over 4 months ago. We get a real good glimpse of the future that Spielberg has created and it is indeed totally different looking than the future world of A.I.. Though it does leave me wondering if the sun is blue in this world. The film seems to have a Bladerunner feel to it. I hope(and boy will this opinion be popular) that it's a better film than Bladerunner as I was never a huge fan. I do feel a little less excited about this movie now, but that could just be that the trailer was so small on my screen, and I didn't enjoy Bladerunner.

Hulk - Teaser Trailer - Starring Eric Bana, Directed by Ang Lee
Click here for Various Sizes in Quicktime

It's short! Too short! But it's a great teaser, it makes me want to see more. Summer 2003 is getting further away! Essentially you have Bruce Banner(Eric Bana) looking in a mirror, in a bathroom of presumably his house, as we hear his voice talking about turning into the Hulk and how he starts to LIKE IT, then his eye goes green and we cut to the outside of the house where the wall gets blasted through. Wait..he likes it? What are you up to Mr. Lee?


Wacky Picture Of The Week!


I used to date this chick, At first it was weird,
but it was so much fun when she sneezed.

How I Wasted My Life This Week - The TV Report

Monday

Angel - WB 9/8pm. My Rating 4/5
Angel was good this week, VERY GOOD. If you're not watching this show then you should be. A show like this will never get the respect it deserves because of its' fantasy subject matter, but that's not a bad thing, and I hope the producers realize that. Unlike the Buffy Producers who seem to have decided they want recognition from the mainstream media and have turned the show into Dynasty. Angel Good, Buffy Bad.

Raw - TNN 9pm. My Rating 2/5
See, I still watch wrestling and I still cover it. Sorta. Weak show, weak matches, I even missed the end. Hogan bitchslapped the Underfaker though..ohhhh drama! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU UP NOW!!

I also managed to see King Of Queens, a show all of you should be watching. Kevin James is one funny man. Yes, Dear. I like the people on that show, but man. I don't see how this is a top 20 show every week. It has its' moments, but eh. I watched some other shit, but who cares.

Tuesday

What the hell happened to "24" this week? Screw That 70's Show. Talk about overrated trash. Sheesh. I wanted to see "24" you Fox Fucks(tm). It's sweeps season and you take off the best new show this season to play more of That 70's Shit? Why??? Why ask why? This is Fox. The network that has cancelled almost every good show it's had in the last few years. Fox should realize that a 5.0 rating on Fox is like a 14 on NBC. Accept that fact and become a network that puts quality over ratings. Never happen, but wouldn't it be nice?

Dynasty AKA Buffy The Vampire Slayer - UPN 8/7pm. My Rating 1.5/5
What in the bloody hell was that? How any self respecting Buffy Fan can truthfully say that they feel the show is better or as good as it has been in recent years is just beyond me. Next week they are going to kill the wrong person. The wrong cast memeber. They are making the wrong decision. Just like they've been doing all season. Joss, the kiddies need you. Come back.

Smallville - WB 9/8pm. My Rating 3/5
I think watching Buffy before hand made this show look much better than it was. It was an average show for the series. I remember them promising that the whole Villain Of The Week thing was going to die come the 2nd half of the season. MAybe they meant in the 2nd season. I really hope so anyway. If not, thye should change the name to the Luthor show, cuz Lex kicks ass.

The Osbournes - MTV 10pm. My Rating 4/5
Hmm I think this week was a repeat? Maybe not, I dunno. Either way it's The Osbournes and even if the entire 1/2 hour was spent watching Ozzy pick his nose I would give it a 4/5.

The Sheild - FX - 10pm/11pm encore. My Rating 3/5
I like this show. It's got a little growing left to do, but over all it tackles a side of the Police Department that really hasn't been tackled before. Well for more than one episode at least. If you're looking for a look into what you would think the LAPD is actually like, then don't miss this show.

Wednesday

I was feeling mighty ill this evening so I only caught parts of Enterprise and West Wing so I don't think it would be fair to rate them. I was only able to catch one show in it's entirety.

Bernie Mac - FOX - 8/9pm. My Rating 3/5
White America, what is wrong with you? Are you all watching West Wing, or is racisim still running rampant? Bernie Mac is easily the bbest new comdey this season and the best in years. Yet it ranks #95 amongst white households. 95!! At the same time it is the #1 show in black households. This really irritates me. I really hope it's because of West Wing, but if you're white, and you don't watch West Wing, and you're not watching Bernie... I am gonna come to your house and hurt you.

Thursday

Survivor - CBS - 8/7pm - My Rating 3.5/5
Damn, Tammy is gone. I know she was sort of a bitch but she's from Mesa! Hometown girl! Had to root for her..well I didn't really but it would have been cool. I think Sean and Vecepia are about to turn on Paschal and his adopted daughter next week.You'd have to be a total moron to take those two in with you into the final four. They won't vote each other off and you'll be toast. It's served them well to team up and get this far, but a two man alliance is only gonna get you so far before the others wake up and realize you have to kill em to have a shot. This years Survivor has been interesting to say the least. And who am I pulling for now? The General. I think he can team up with Vecepia, Sean, and Kathy, and ride this sucker out. Go General!!

C.S.I. - CBS - 8/9pm - My Rating 4/5
Okay, the main story plot was ripped from the headlines. A guy hits a man with his car, parks the car in his garage and lets the man bleed to death. BUT AT LEAST they didn't go and advertise it as ripped from the headlines like Law and Order would have done. God, I hate that crap. If you are not watching C.S.I. then you are not watching the best drama on TV. Tune in next week to catch the return of David Carouso to television. Part of the C.S.I. team heads to Miami, as part of their case, where they team up with C.S.I. Miami. You won't want to miss this one because next season Mr. Carouso will be heading his own C.S.I. team in a spinoff show.

Friends - NBC - 8/7pm - My Rating 3/5
I'm a fool. This show continues to basically be the same week in and week out, yet I still watch and I still laugh. According to "Rachel" she is only 7 days away from her due date. So she has the baby next week? I dunno. What's gonna happen with Ross and Rachel? Will Chandler get that job? I know I'm not supposed to care but I do!! Screw me.

Best Late Night Show This Week- Conan O'Brien - It was a hard choice with it being Ozzy Week on E!'s Howard Stern show, but I gotta stick with the true talk show. An appearance by the wonderfully talented, and beautifully groomed Charlie Sheen, sealed the deal for Conan.

Starting next week I will cover Friday and Saturday as one day, as well as Sunday - Thursday.


Steal This!* - Musical Suggestions
* umm don't steal it, by steal I meant buy. Yup, you heard me, RIAA.

This weeks suggestion is an array of Hero Songs. With Spider-Man opening today lets get you in the mood for some hero action!

Hero - by Chad Kroneck - Spider-Man The Movie Soundtrack

Save Me - by Remy Zero - Theme to Smallville

Hero Of The Day - by Metallica - Metallica S&M(the better version)

Spider-Man Theme Song - By Aerosmith(new) or by The Ramones. Either one is great. Get em both!

Flash - by Queen - The Theme to Flash Gordon from The Flash Gordon Soundtrack

We Can Be Heroes - by David Bowie

Want us to run your own Musical Suggestions? Email me the name of the songs, who they are by, and why, and I'll feature it here!


I told you it may run a little long. I hope that you all enjoyed this first edition and hope to see you back here each and every week. Comments and Suggestions can be emailed to Scott@Skedoozy.com. Till next time, GO SEE SPIDER-MAN!!



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