| QUESTION | | TOP ANSWER | | VOTES | | ASKED |
| Favorite Toilet Paper | | Squirrels (50%) | | 2 | | 05/17/12 |
| Favorite four lettered word? | | Fuck (60%) | | 20 | | 05/08/12 |
| Voting for US President? | | Independent (37%) | | 30 | | 05/01/12 |
| China? | | Buffet (50%) | | 30 | | 04/09/12 |
| You are a bread man made out of bread, and you just got butter on yourself. Is that OK? | | Depends if you're toasted (45%) | | 20 | | 03/30/12 |
| How do you like your eggs? | | Raised to adulthood and baked (31%) | | 32 | | 03/09/12 |
| Best Quentin Tarantino-directed movie? | | Pulp Fiction (23%) | | 30 | | 02/22/12 |
| If money were no object, what would be the driving force in your career? | | What career? (50%) | | 20 | | 02/14/12 |
| Best celebrity to have record your answering machine message? | | Helen Keller (28%) | | 25 | | 02/05/12 |
| Dog? | | SQUIRREL (30%) | | 20 | | 01/31/12 |
| Why no one cares | | Fuck salt (34%) | | 50 | | 01/21/12 |
| The Mayan calendar ends 12/21/12. Some think this means the end of the world. What does Dec 21, 2012 REALLY signify? | | Absolutely nothing (43%) | | 35 | | 01/09/12 |
| Best topping for Tuna Helper? | | beer (30%) | | 20 | | 01/03/12 |
| So what did you get for Christmas? | | more disillusioned (51%) | | 35 | | 12/25/11 |
| What should the NEXT poll be about? | | Who the fuck cares? (31%) | | 26 | | 12/13/11 |
| Fuckin' 2 million hits this year? Who do we credit? | | The occasional SMUT post (34%) | | 50 | | 11/30/11 |
| Why? | | What was the question again? (30%) | | 30 | | 11/21/11 |
| Favorite dessert? | | Pie (53%) | | 30 | | 11/07/11 |
| What were you drinking when you realized you could have had a V8? | | Yoo Hoo (28%) | | 25 | | 10/31/11 |
| Best Saturday morning cereal? | | Cap'n Crunch (17%) | | 35 | | 10/16/11 |
| Why driving sucks | | Drivers don't use directionals (30%) | | 33 | | 10/07/11 |
| Your most embarassing biological feature? | | French-speaking tapeworms (23%) | | 30 | | 09/30/11 |
| My pet is really great because | | Sniffs visitors in the crotch (28%) | | 25 | | 09/26/11 |
| How many hotdogs can you eat in 5 minutes? | | I don't eat hotdogs (27%) | | 33 | | 09/19/11 |
| Where do you get your TV news from? | | Daily Show (40%) | | 25 | | 09/14/11 |
| Can't sleep? | | More coffee (35%) | | 26 | | 09/07/11 |
| Best euphemism for diarrhea? | | Hershey squirts (39%) | | 33 | | 08/29/11 |
| Little Timmy is trapped in the well! What do you do? | | Taunt Timmy from the top (48%) | | 33 | | 08/21/11 |
| Best sexual position? | | In a foxhole (28%) | | 25 | | 08/13/11 |
| You put a brownie in my cloning device, didn't you? | | Yes (48%) | | 25 | | 08/07/11 |
| Humans are the only animal that are... | | Believers in the supernatural (40%) | | 25 | | 07/28/11 |
| Worst way to die? | | Old age (33%) | | 30 | | 07/16/11 |
| Best Way to Tell Someone Their Fly is Open | | Your pod bay door is open, Hal (35%) | | 20 | | 07/01/11 |
| Best euphemism for menstruation: | | Taking Carrie to the Prom (35%) | | 37 | | 06/15/11 |
| YUP is way cooler than thumbs up/down because: | | Unregistered users have no clue (29%) | | 31 | | 06/07/11 |
| Best meat to make shoes with? | | flank steak (28%) | | 36 | | 05/26/11 |
| Best Cracker Jack prize? | | tattoos (41%) | | 51 | | 05/11/11 |
| Best royal wedding ever? | | Humperdinck and Buttercup (57%) | | 42 | | 04/29/11 |
| Scientists have declared with absolute certainty that all life will be destroyed by an asteroid impact in exactly 48 hours. How do you spend your remaining time? | | big time fuckin' (34%) | | 50 | | 04/23/11 |
| Best euphemism for female masturbation: | | The disappearing finger trick (27%) | | 30 | | 04/16/11 |
| Best euphemism for male masturbation: | | Rubbing one out (23%) | | 31 | | 04/10/11 |
| The main idea of driving is to: | | Get away from THE MAN (32%) | | 25 | | 04/02/11 |
| Best drive-thru breakfast? | | Whataburger (24%) | | 25 | | 03/25/11 |
| Best euphemism for shitting? | | Drop the kids off at the pool (45%) | | 29 | | 03/11/11 |
| What's the worst thing to find when biting into an apple? | | half a worm (44%) | | 25 | | 03/05/11 |
| Ketchup is... | | A condiment (32%) | | 25 | | 02/26/11 |
| Best euphemism for female genitalia? | | twat (31%) | | 26 | | 02/19/11 |
| Favorite brand of peanut butter? | | No diff, all the same (30%) | | 30 | | 02/06/11 |
| Who's going to win the Super Bowl? | | Globetrotters (26%) | | 86 | | 01/18/11 |
| In 20 years, what will be our primary mode of transportation? | | car (21%) | | 24 | | 01/09/11 |
| Which New Year's resolution are you really for sure serious about this year? | | learn klingon (35%) | | 20 | | 12/31/10 |
| Best gravy? | | sausage (30%) | | 20 | | 12/21/10 |
| Marijuana should be... | | fully decriminalized (32%) | | 25 | | 12/09/10 |
| Who should be the villain in the next Batman movie? | | meth-addicted Alfred (36%) | | 28 | | 12/03/10 |
| What was in your Thanksgiving turkey? | | nothing (36%) | | 22 | | 11/25/10 |
| BATTLE: Empty swimming pool, in the bottom is a half dozen 20-lb river otters with switchblades vs. an 8-foot alligator with a machete strapped to his tail. In a fight to the death, who wins? | | otters (55%) | | 22 | | 11/19/10 |
| Best answer to when someone walks into your bedroom and asks if you are sleeping? | | No, dead. Leave flowers; get out (44%) | | 32 | | 11/10/10 |
| Best Halloween Candy? | | Snickers (40%) | | 50 | | 10/26/10 |
| Most awesome super power? | | super bendy thumb (25%) | | 48 | | 10/14/10 |
| Best excuse for speeding? | | bong rolled under brake pedal (42%) | | 50 | | 10/08/10 |
| Next secret ingredient on Iron Chef? | | syrup of ipecac (30%) | | 47 | | 10/06/10 |
| If you could be any kind of fabric, what fabric would you be? | | Naugahyde (24%) | | 50 | | 10/01/10 |
