With the intensity of a thousand pulsing love pods, we present the winners of Nerve's Bad Erotica Contest!
By: Dave
Thursday, May 29th 2003 (6:48am)
One of the publishing world's most closely guarded secrets -- the latest book in the best-selling Harry Potter series -- has been let out of the bag and left in a field.
By: Dave
Wednesday, May 7th 2003 (12:01am)
For those of you that have read Finnegan's Wake (or at least TRIED to read it), I expect you to back me up on this! If you haven't read it yet, pick up a copy sometime, its... its a book I guess...
By: Hellvis
Wednesday, Apr 30th 2003 (12:09am)
Hey Hey Hey Bob Saget
You are just so freaking funny
I love you Mr. Bob Saget
You make my darkest day go sunny
By: faedra
Monday, Apr 21st 2003 (1:20am)
Hello, and welcome to my homepage. My name is Ulrich Haarburste and I like to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film.
By: Dave
Saturday, Apr 19th 2003 (9:00am)
"The 'Little Purple Notebook On How To Escape From This Universe' is the pocket edition of the dreaded volumes of 'Pnohteftu' which, fortunately for mankind, was and will be lost forever somewhere in time.

Some parts of the original 'Pnohteftu' were excerpts from yet another notorious work which was compiled in a Parallel Universe that was-is-willbe not too different from ours. That book carried the somewhat misleading name 'Virago 2000'."

Ooooookay. Now that we've cleared THAT up - click here to get to the grits of it.
By: Hellvis
Wednesday, Apr 9th 2003 (12:17am)
Kids love to color, so the next time you have a mess of 'em around your place and they're whining about having nothing to do, grab a pile of crayons and hunker 'em down with the Cunt Coloring Book!
By: Dave
Tuesday, Apr 8th 2003 (12:11am)
An excerpt:
Me: It is possible that some people might have found the plot a little improbable. They might find it hard to believe that, in order to garner political support for his tax cuts, George W. Bush would secretly arrange a giant parade in Washington honoring the richest people in America, who would march front to back in order of their net worth. Or that a cadre of earnest, teetotaling college students would get wind of this and, encouraged by Sen. Russ Feingold of Wisconsin, rise up to stage a heroic counter-parade honoring basic American values like morality and hard work. Was this perhaps deft satire, a nifty Swiftian touch?

Burrows: No.

Me: Ah.
By: Dave
Thursday, Feb 20th 2003 (2:35am)
Finally, a release date for the 5th Potter book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!
By: Dave
Friday, Jan 17th 2003 (1:02am)
The recently discovered Secret Diaries from Lord Of The Rings merely confirms many of my suspicions.
By: Dave
Friday, Jan 10th 2003 (12:12am)
Why pay 9 bucks for The Two Towers? It's all right here in e-text format!
By: Hellvis
Thursday, Dec 26th 2002 (12:30am)
Fans of feisty freckle-faced heroine Pippi Longstocking have received an unexpected Christmas present with the discovery of a forgotten story by the late Astrid Lindgren.
By: Dave
Friday, Dec 6th 2002 (12:06am)
When I was a young troublemaker (as opposed to the old troublemaker I have become), I was greatly influenced by George Hayduke and his Pulitzer-neglected book Get Even: The Complete Book Of Dirty Tricks, with emphasis on his theories on library books, character assassination, and dryer destruction (large cheese pizza and a fistful of quarters). He's cranked out a number of volumes of revenge guides over the years, and if you're ever at a loss for a good way to fuck with a foe, he's the guy to look up.
By: Dave
Friday, Nov 15th 2002 (12:07am)
Like most heroes, Harry Potter possesses the requisite Boy Scout virtues: trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. But so do lots of boys and girls, and they don't get books and movies named after them.
By: Dave
Wednesday, Nov 13th 2002 (12:07am)
Got some extra time?
*Insert seven syllables*
Transformers Haiku.
By: faedra
Monday, Nov 11th 2002 (7:04am)
Check out the official magazine of cheese-eating surrender monkeys!
By: Dave
Friday, Oct 25th 2002 (12:22am)
Actually, no, but a fake HP book, titled Harry Potter and Leopard walk up to Dragon is selling like hotcakes in Japan - much to the dismay of JK Rowling. Better get on it, lady!
By: Dave
Friday, Jul 5th 2002 (1:58am)
But when I do post, it's for the good of all man kind. For Gods sake if you know anything tell us!!
By: Scott
Tuesday, Jun 18th 2002 (7:41pm)
The final book, Order Of The Phoenix, has been delayed INDEFINTELY. Hell, we may never know if Potter finally nails Hermione.
By: Dave
Friday, Apr 19th 2002 (12:04am)

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