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by dave, 10/01/06

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1.5m zipped executable
Let's get one thing perfectly clear - I hate talking on the telephone. Between snail mail, the intarweb, and my own flavor of schizophrenic telepathy, I can communicate just fine with everyone I would ever want to converse with. Hell, you can even order pizza online now. If it weren't for the wife and kids, who have some kind of odd attachment to the damn things, I wouldn't even have one in my house.

Unfortunately, as you can see, I have to have a phone - if only for the family's sake - the biggest downside of which is that people want to call me and talk to me on it. Over the course of the years, the wife and I have worked out a silent hand signal, an index finger stabbing into a vertical palm, which means "go ring the doorbell so I can say I gotta go answer it and hang up on this person because DAMN!"

This works great, but it also requires 2 people to pull off effectively, so the task at hand was to create something similar that 1 person alone could work. Enter the Telephone Hangeruppifier.

Of course, just a doorbell would have worked, but stuff like this seems to get out of hand with me when I'm making 'em, so you now have 3 different categories of distractions to get you off the horn quickly - operator breaks (work best if used immediately after picking up the phone), inside noises, and outside noises. You can layer the sounds on top of each other too, to convince the person on the phone that the apocalypse has just befallen your house, or a cop car has just rammed into your truck and set off the alarm, or a helicopter has started dropping cows in your backyard. If the sound starts getting away from you, there's a stop button on the operator's hand at the bottom.

I'm sure you can work out the rest yourselves. Go to town.
If you dug this, check out the Instant Audience soundboard as well.

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